Scariest Candidate Contest

So far, the winner is clear. Mitt Romney. Here are the reasons in no particular order.

1. He's a Mormon.
As an agnostic/atheist/existentialist myself, I have a hard enough time with religion mixing in with politics at all. But I realize that a lot, if not most, Americans like their president to believe in God. Ok, fair enough. I find the Shrub's brand of fire and brimstone faith to be overbearing. But Mormonism is a whole different ball game. Now, don't get me wrong. I've had a few Mormon friends here and there, and they are really (really really) nice people. But I have to draw the line somewhere. Mormon's believe that they become demi-gods of alien planets if they are good in this life. I'm not sure where exactly my line is, but I do know that this is across that line.

2. His favorite book is "Battlefield Earth"
This is disturbing for two reasons, actually. First, it was written by L. Ron Hubbard, the founder of Scientology. While Romney has said he doesn't condone Scientology, which is, of course, perhaps the MOST wacky religion on the fringes of the mainstream, a Mormon saying that a book written by the founder of Scientology is his favorite equals DOUBLE CRAZY.
This is also disturbing because it is a horrible novel. Plain and simple. But maybe it was better than the movie. Why not the Book of Mormon? At least that sounds like interesting and well-written fiction.
And at least Romney reads something other than the Bible.

3. His feelings on Guantanamo
When asked about terrorism, he said that we ought to "Double Guantanamo" where the detainees aren't on "our soil" and don't have "access to lawyers." I don't even know how to argue with this statement.

I would be willing to overlook or change my mind about the first two (ok maybe just the Mormon thing, I mean Battlefield Earth? How about...I don't know...anything else?). I do not understand how someone trained in our system of law can actually believe that the accused should be denied counsel and held without charge.

Not that I'm going to vote for a Republican anyway, but I'm just saying....

Bush Not Much for Bread, Circuses

Here's an article from the Houston Chronicle

May 21, 2007, 2:04PM
Bush defends Gonzales, dismisses plan for no-confidence vote
By BEN FELLER Associated Press Writer
© 2007 The Associated Press CRAWFORD, Texas — President Bush insisted on Monday that embattled Attorney General Alberto Gonzales still has his support and denounced Democratic plans for a no-confidence vote as "pure political theater.

Political theatre you say? Hmmm, seems to me you've become quite the thespian yourself!

From the famous Mission Accomplished Photo Shoot....


...to having the parents of a fallen American Soldier do a cameo at the state of the union address back in 2005.
Or this little gem


Cuz that's a genuine and substantive way to deal with Malaria, right?

Vaguely Female Friday

I am intrigued by Verka Serduchka. Here's another gem from that crazy Ukranian. This one has dancing monkeys.



She reminds me of a (more) Eastern European Hedwig (below). What do you guys think?

Screw the Cigarette, You Had Better Take That Meatsicle Out of Your Mouth

Oh no! Oral sex can give you throat cancer? I am going to be fucked and not fucked in so many ways it boggles the mind.

Article at SFgate.

I hope this is on itunes soon

I don't follow American Idol. I don't know if that means I want the terrorists to win, or if I'm just afraid of commitment. Just can't care.

But Europe has an interesting version of this same idea, called the Eurovision Song Contest. It's like American Idol, except each country gets to send one group. The only problem is that when people don't like the results in Eurovision, international relations in Europe are chilled for a good couple of days.

And they are all generally really bad. I mean, like painful to watch. Now, before I get any hate comments from my European readers (ha ha, right), this isn't about Europe. It's about these horrible contests. They just don't produce anything musically interesting.

But this year, it did produce something incredibly entertaining to me. Behold the second-place finisher, Ukraine and its Verka SERDUCHKA - Dancing Lasha Tumbai.

Warning: Memorizing in a tranny car wreck kind of way.



So Verka, if it's any consolation, you were totally robbed. I don't understand how this could NOT win. Especially when compared with some of the other "music." Like the Turkish Justin Timberlake:



or this group from France:



Oh god, what was that? But it's so much better than this snooze fest that won, though I do find the naughty professional eastern european lipstick lesbian look to be very interesting.

Jerry Falwell dead at 73

The fact that this asshole out-lived my father is actually further proof to me that there is no God. But if there is, I hope Foulwell is put in the same level of hades as all other intolerant bigots who claim they have the mandate of the Almighty.

We'll Always Have Paris

I was trying to avoid this, but I just can't anymore. In a news item that refuses to die, Paris Hilton is not not only appealing her 45-day sentence, but is also asking the Governator for a pardon. In the petition for her pardon (which I REFUSE to link to), it says

Paris Whitney Hilton is an American celebrity and socialite. She is an heiress to a share of the Hilton Hotel fortune, as well as to the real estate fortune of her father Richard Hilton. She provides hope for young people all over the U.S. and the world. She provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives.

Wow. I can't believe that someone actually sees herself as being so incredibly entitled.

I'm going to let you all in on a little secret today. I have some personal experience with a DUI. If anything Paris has already gotten preferential treatment. If Joe Shmoe were caught while driving with a suspended license because of a previous DUI, it would be considered a violation of his probation and he would either go (back) to jail (if he couldn't afford the fine the first time) or would get his sentence enhanced (more work program/more fine), and the car, even if it didn't belong to him, would get impounded at his expense.

When Paris got caught driving on a suspended license for the first time, she had to sign a statement saying that she knew her license was suspended. That's it. And LA is not known for being lenient on drunk drivers because of the driving culture of the city, and the fact that you spend so much time on the highway, it's usually the CHP that get you, and they are NOTORIOUSLY hard-ass.

So, when she gets caught a SECOND time, I don't think imposing a 45-day sentence is ludicrous. The whole reason she can be so carefree is because she doesn't have a job to lose or a family to feed, so be it. I just don't understand why she would keep insisting on driving places! I mean, with her money I'm sure she has a driver who will just take her around!

So Paris, if you read this, I'm not trying to mean. Like I said, I've been on the wrong side of one of these before, and it is a terrifying experience. But I have paid my dues on time, and done everything the system told me to do. I thought my sentence was a bit harsh too, considering the circumstances. But HOW DARE YOU think that somehow because people are fascinated with your princess life-style that you are entitled to preferential treatment. Do us all a favor. Read a book while your in there and play cards with lesbians. You might learn something.

On another note though, I do feel sorry for you because of this thing. That's just not fair. And this IS kinda because you're famous for being famous.

You Got Serve...OH DEAR JESUS!!!!

Man Dies Dancing in Parking Lot

AP

NEW BRITAIN, Conn. (May 9) -- A man died while trying to outdo a rival with an acrobatic move while "battle dancing," police said.

Robert Stitt, 48, and his rival were competing in a parking lot Monday night when he tried a forward flip and landed on his head.

linky

1. As sad as this is, I hope I go in a dance-off battle.

2. But I'll put some cardboard down

3. People battle in a place called "New Britain Connecticut"?

4. 48 year-olds battle anywhere?

Sarko a l’Elysée

Well, he took it, with 85% voter turnout (could you imagine that here? Last presidential election here it was 57%. Wow). And so far, not so bad:

Ils se sont soldés par 730 voitures incendiées, 78 policiers et gendarmes blessés et 592 arrestations, selon un bilan de la Direction générale de la police nationale (DGPN).

It could've been worse. Well, this other article makes it sound worse:

Police fired teargas grenades into a group of several hundred masked demonstrators who threw rocks and other missiles at them, at the Place Bastille in Paris, where about 5,000 anti-Sarkozy protesters had gathered. There were also reports that police clashed with 2,500 protesters in Toulouse; 2,000 demonstrators in Lyon; and several hundred protesters in the towns of Rennes, Nates and Brest.

What actually happened?

Restez a l'écoute

On May 6 the French will pick their new president. It has become a classic left-right battle. I am somewhat torn between "Sarko" v. "Ségo" myself. I think France does need some structural reform, but I don't think the French will put up with much from Sarko because he is already seen as being too "anglo." I mean look what happened to Dominique de Villepin with the contrat première embauche. In case you missed it last year, this is what happened.

With Ségolène, one risks the status quo, but I think she might be able to push some mild market-based reforms through with her general support from the left. I also don't think that France needs to become Anglo to succeed. Is the unemployment rate to high? Yes, but I don't think they need to completely dismantle their state-run programs. Their hospitals and schools are first-rate. I kind of want France to stay, at least mostly, France. But it's not up to me, now is it.

On another note, the neuf-trois is getting ready, because if Sarko is elected, the banlieus of Paris might start to burn again. Soyez sages et prudents mes amis!!

Photo from The Economist.

Because no one puts baby in the corner

That's why. My last picture was actually a hint at my real name. But this one is just so fantastic, I decided to change it. Did you like me in Roadhouse?

Duke Lacrosse MBAs Fail DNA Ethics Test

Wow Duke has had a rough year. Ok, not as bad as Virginia Tech, but still pretty bad. And now this. Apparently 34 First Year Students at Duke's Fuqua (pronounced "fuck-wa?" while shrugging your shoulders)School of Business are being disciplined after having been caught cheating on a first-year exam. This article isn't clear, but it kind of seems like they cheated on an ethics exam, which raises four questions in my mind.

1. YOU CHEATED ON AN "ETHICS" EXAM?!?!?

2. They have ethics exams in business school?

3. Seriously?

4. How do you cheat an on open-book exam?

Full article here

LCD Soundsystem

I saw LCD Soundsystem (more here) at the Fillmore back in 2005 when I had no idea who they were and my roommate at the time had an extra ticket. I was blown away by their disco-electronica with the ironic lyrics.

So when I found out they were coming through town again, I actually shelled out $60 a pop to a scalper to see them last night at Mezzanine. And it was worth every penny. I haven't danced that much at a show since...well...prolly the last time they were in town. If you get the chance, I highly recommend seeing them live.

Here is one of my faves off of the new album. It's somewhat reminiscent of Blue Monday, if you ask me. (no actual video, just the song). I had this on repeat when I first got the album, but after hearing it live, it's back up on the itunes a few times a day.


And here is one of the songs off of their first album that got me truly hooked.


Sorry I don't have any pics from the show. They usually don't allow cameras, but it seemed like everyone last night had one. Except me. My friend got a few on her phone though, so if they're worth it, I'll post them later.