Tuesday, November 27, 2007

City Girls Have Dense Breasts, Increased Risk of Breast Cancer

BBC NEWS: City living 'breast cancer risk'

I was originally going to talk about perky city boobs, but this is actually quite scary and serious. Apparently, women living in cities have denser breasts, due to (they think) increased air pollution, which in turn, increases a woman's chance to develop breast cancer. So go get checked all you urban ladies.

In other BBC News, the British continue to push the meta envelope.

Protesters protest free-speech debate

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Local Coffee Shop Makes Good (Coffee)

After mentioning one of our great local eateries, Boogaloos, when giving our city a good economic colonoscopy a while back, now one of our local coffee shops, Ritual, made it into "The Economist" for having a fancy coffee machine.

NEAR the hard-working espresso machine at Ritual Coffee Roasters, a café in San Francisco, sits a stainless-steel box about the size of a desktop computer. This box, the Clover, produces a cup of coffee with a spectacle of streaming water, whirring motors and an ingenious inverse plunger. Zander Nosler, the industrial designer who invented the Clover nearly three years ago, seems to have done the impossible: attracted a cult following for a new coffee-making machine that is both slower and vastly more expensive than other machines and requires the undivided attention of a trained operator.
Now these two establishments are actually more or less across the street from one another in the Mission. And they are, by far, two of the most hipster establishments in the city.

Boogaloos is where everyone goes for breakfast the morning after a big night out at Casanova, Delirium, Beauty Bar, Latin American Club, etc. You see some crazy hipster outfits (a la BSL) and some people who obviously never went to sleep the night before. Great breakfast, even better people watching.

And then there's Ritual. Ritual is a coffee shop, that no matter what day, nor time of day you walk into, all the tables are full with people on laptops. Sure, some of them are students, but not all of them. The rest are "writers," or "bloggers," or "trustifarians,"and most of the time all three. And again, very very hipster. You need to have at least one visible tattoo and 3 pair of skinny jeans to work there, and there are more fixed gear bikes locked up outside than are in the inventory of the worker-owned non-profit cooperative bike shop down the street. But, the coffee there is incredible.

And honestly, I can't think of anything that would make this place more hipster than a $11k coffee machine that requires a trained technician to produce an incredibly slow $6 cup of coffee.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Reading This Blog Makes You Smarterer

I guess.

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Friday, November 16, 2007

'ello, what's that govna?!

San Francisco is currently considering adding double-decker buses, similar to those used in Vegas that have toured London's streets for time immemorial, to its public transit fleet.

I foresee this as a way of men letting each other know if they are a "top" or a "bottom."

Friday, November 09, 2007

French Tuesdays

If you happen to live in New York, Miami, San Francisco, or Los Angeles, you might have heard of "French Tuesdays." But maybe not.

Basically, its an exclusive list of exclusive francophi
les that have an exclusive party somewhere every second Tuesday. Although, if I got invited, this whole exclusive thing might just be a crock. Anyway, this is who it is for according to the website.

If you have a particular taste for Champagne, enjoy dancing on eclectic music, being surrounded by an elegant and international crowd, and like a "je ne sais quoi of French Flair...

You will love our happy and hip gatherings,
that take place in the trendiest venues of the city.

Every other Tuesday, from 7pm to 1am,
we invite our members for an evening of fun, dance, Champagne and fine food, spiced up with a twist of French romance and heavy accents.
Intriguing, non? But part of this sort of sounded like Günther
The four main things in Günthers life are Champagne, Glamour, Sex and Respect.

The one I went to was at a place called Vessel here in SF, which is not a French bar. It's more like a bar from an early Sex and the City Episode...you know one where Samantha is hot for some fancy rich guy, who takes her to a trendy new Manhattan bar...in like 1998? With like a glowing bar and glass bricks in the bathroom? I don't know if that was a Sex and the City Episode, but it seems like it. Anyway, it kind of looks like that.

So I guess a couple of french guys got together and decided that the best way to hook up with american chicks was to lure them into one place every other tuesday with images of Louis Vuitton and Moet & Chandon dancing in their heads. And I have THIS to say about that.

Pretty smart really. Yeah, good job with that one. Especially when you're trying to fool everyone by fashioning your look after Moby.Now, I knew coming into this, that this would not represent the France that I know. While there is a very chic jet set in Paris, most people there are not. I ran into la racaille more than I did people who worked for Yves Saint Laurent.

But there was really nothing french about it. The DJ was french, and his music definitely dipped more into the eclectic, but the crowd there just seemed likely a slightly better dressed version of the kind of people who would go to this place,
sans prétexte d'une soirée française. And no one was really all that nice. I don't know if it was the supposed exclusivity or "frenchness," but it kind of made everyone act a bit pretentious.

Now, I'm actually in these pictures somewhere (ooooh), but here is my attempt at some Blue States Lose.

I'm not exactly sure what's going on here, but I think the guy on the left just gave the guy on the right the fastest hand job ever recorded.

"My mother must approve all my dates. She told me to get you this glass of ginger ale. Wait, where are you going?"

I think it might have been my fight or flight response kicking in after seeing these guys walking towards me, but the first thing I noticed in this picture was the "Exit" sign.

"So then he said, 'just think of this dress as being the exclusive sneak-peak preview of your boobs.'"

In french, to be surprised is to be "étonné(é)." As in she was étonnéé to discover that this whole time this guy had been talking about a "préservatif," he was not referring to jelly.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

My day of civic duty

On Tuesday, which was when our local elections took place, I was ordered to report for jury duty, in what turned out to be a wage/hour dispute. So I spent half a day watching a group of about 24 people get questioned by the judge, and then by the attorneys, about their experiences with employers/employees and their general feeling about litigants. I got excused after the first round of peremptory challenges when it seemed like they would have enough people to (eventually) form a jury. In my line of work, we practically never go to trial, so I'm gong to totally put this on my resume as "trial experience."

During voir dire, I was one again reminded about how ridiculously overeducated this city is. Of the 24 people on the panel, I would say about 4 did not have at least a B.A degree. And two of those were first generation immigrants who would eventually be excused because their English comprehension wasn't all that great. There were 3 attorneys (one was retired), a PHD and ex-professor, two scientists who worked for biotech companies, and a bunch of MBAs that worked in web development or something like that (my tech comprehension is far worse than the excused jurors' English).

And then I went and voted. In a city with that many educated people, you think there would be a large number of qualified candidates for mayor, right? Not so much. This city is also full of a bunch of nutjobs. Here are some of the candidates other than Gavin Newsom. And yes, these are really from the voter guide.


My occupation is Writer/Nudist Activist.

My qualifications are:

This is a One Issue campaign which is to Make Golden Gate Park Clothing Optional like the major urban parks in Europe. For other policy issues, a well known City Manager will be appointed.

Thoughts for today:

You are free to be nude!!! You are free to wear clothing. By California case law (In Re Smith 1972 and other court decisions), you have a freedom of choice.

Nude is not lewd.

With San Francisco's ranked three choices, voting for freedom of choice is as easy as one, two, three. Give George Davis a ranked vote, preferably #1.

If anyone should think this is not a serious issue, explain why George Davis has been illegally harassed by the San Francisco Police Department with 4 full arrests (handcuffs, booking, jail) in 5 weeks of campaigning followed almost immediately with a discharge of the citations by the San Francisco District Attorney.

Voters, you have a clear choice. Do you want police harassment of a legitimate non-violent cultural movement and censorship? Or, do you want freedom of choice and civil liberties?

For more details on George Davis and this campaign, visit the blogs at: www.gonakedyoga.com Or contact George at: vote4mayorsf@yahoo.com

George Davis



My occupation is Vegan Taxicab Driver.

My qualifications are:

Born – Moscow, Russia; English – third but only language. Grasshopper: Vegan, Bay swimmer, owner Grasshopper Taxicab. Lifelong musician; guitarist, singer/songwriter. Compassionate, tolerant, supportive, loving. 13 years here residentially challenged.

To Impeach Is Patriotic. Promote swift removal: Bush, Cheney, Gonzales; Repeal illegal war criminal “unilateral executive” policies.

Locally, most important challenge – providing affordable housing. If you work here, you gotta be able to live here, so you can come back to work the next day fresh. Strengthen eviction protection. Legalize alternative housing situations, like commercially-zoned buildings, where many allready live.

Legalize everything. Legalize prostitution and sex work; make it SAFE. Make everyone happy. No problems, only solutions. Legalize cannabis; greens for peaceful purposes. Fund schools, hospitals, parks, roads.

Separate paths for bicycles. Convert Muni into world-class public transit system. Downtown assessment district funding free Muni for residents.

Total amnesty for all non-citizens; people ain't illegal. Let's celebrate our hardworking labor force while treasuring, protecting cultural diversity, encouraging hope, mercy.

Restore festival, carnival atmosphere; musicians, Artists, fun, love. Remember to smile, laugh, celebrate our wonderful existence, our fabulous planet; create / make Grassland model – beacon of mutual understanding, hope. Gratefully,

Grasshopper Alec Kaplan



My occupation is Showman.

My qualifications are:

Hi, my name is Chicken John and I'm running for Mayor because I have a vision for the future of this city. I want a city that attracts artists, not one that chases them away; where innovation wins out over gentrification. In other words, a city that actually has a future, and not just a celebrated past.

What are my qualifications? Small business owner, community leader, champion of the arts. I converted my truck to run on coffee grounds with zero emissions. I've spent the last decade bringing people together in artistic endeavor, helping to make this city a better place.

Am I dumb enough to think I can win? Not really. But I do believe I can win the losing vote, and that's why I'm asking you to vote for me for second place. Think of it as an intellectual exercise, designed to raise the level of conversation.

We stand to lose a lot more if we don't even try: more bad public art, more greenwashing, more of the same magician's misdirection. We must resist a city apparatus that resists innovation, and hold its feet to the fire.

C'mon, it'll be fun. Vote for me.

Tashi Delek,

Chicken John

I totally voted for Chicken John, cuz he was right about one thing. It was kinda fun.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Dear flatmate

Dear flatmate,

When you came by my open house when I was looking for a roommate, I liked you. Well, actually after my long distance ex-girlfriend vetoed my previous choice, you were the only person still looking. But you seemed nice and I liked you. And you had living room furniture. You didn't have a job lined up, but you assured me that you had enough money in the bank to last you for a while.

That was May.

You've never been late with rent or bills, and for that I thank you.

But please . . . get a job. Here is why:

1. You are always around. As I said, I like you. But you're always around. And sometimes you have friends over. And some of your friends have babies. And sometimes all I want is a quiet apartment.

2. It's not like you do anything. Ok, I know you're starting a nonprofit or whatever, but seriously. I don't know what you do with your day. You visit friends and go to coffee shops. I figure out all the bills, take out the trash and recycling and do more than my share of cleaning. You also never go shopping nor cook. When you sit there and say you're hungry and sigh until I offer you some of whatever I am eating is getting old. As is when you eat my food. I have about 10 hours less free time in my day than you do, so could you please EFFING DO SOMETHING? I don't expect you to do more than your share just because you are sans emploi, but please. Buy your own food and some toilet paper from time to time.

So, in sum, when you come home from a day of hanging out with your friends, please don't tell me how exhausted you are and then ask me if I'm going "to eat all that."

Thank You,