I'm a Bad Kinda Boss

Today was Administrative Assistants Day, and I didn't do anything for anyone. Here was my ego-centric and incredibly insensitive justification dilemma.

We are an incredibly understaffed office. I don't have a secretary. All of (around 8 attorneys) share 1 1/2 secretaries. The 1/2 secretary is not "special" or anything, she is just a part-timer with an inconsistent schedule. The full secretary is an old big bear of a gay man who is so close to retirement, read immune from firing, that he doesn't really give a shit anymore and doesn't try very hard. You have to double-check his work so much that it is usually easier/quicker for me to just do the shit on my own. The 1/2, as contrast, is very detail oriented and competent and I would actually trust her more than me.

Then we have this one woman who kind of keeps all of the files together. And sometimes she will make you copies if you ask her nicely.

Then we have three paralegals. Oh and the receptionist.

So who is the "administrative assistant?" The receptionist? The 1 1/2 secretaries? Everyone? I feel like I should get somebody something and the apologize for "forgetting to give it" to them. I don't want to just hand out Pete's gift cards. But does that mean I have to get personalized gifts for seven people?

Not to totally pass the buck, but I did think it was kind of shitty that none of the partners did anything given the fact that we all use the same secretary. I mean no flowers, no candy, no new ergonomic chair? Nothing? This would have been cool.