French Tuesdays

If you happen to live in New York, Miami, San Francisco, or Los Angeles, you might have heard of "French Tuesdays." But maybe not.

Basically, its an exclusive list of exclusive francophiles that have an exclusive party somewhere every second Tuesday. Although, if I got invited, this whole exclusive thing might just be a crock. Anyway, this is who it is for according to the website.

If you have a particular taste for Champagne, enjoy dancing on eclectic music, being surrounded by an elegant and international crowd, and like a "je ne sais quoi of French Flair...

You will love our happy and hip gatherings,
that take place in the trendiest venues of the city.

Every other Tuesday, from 7pm to 1am,
we invite our members for an evening of fun, dance, Champagne and fine food, spiced up with a twist of French romance and heavy accents.

Intriguing, non? But part of this sort of sounded like Günther

The four main things in Günthers life are Champagne, Glamour, Sex and Respect.

The one I went to was at a place called Vessel here in SF, which is not a French bar. It's more like a bar from an early Sex and the City Episode...you know one where Samantha is hot for some fancy rich guy, who takes her to a trendy new Manhattan bar...in like 1998? With like a glowing bar and glass bricks in the bathroom? I don't know if that was a Sex and the City Episode, but it seems like it. Anyway, it kind of looks like that.

So I guess a couple of french guys got together and decided that the best way to hook up with american chicks was to lure them into one place every other tuesday with images of Louis Vuitton and Moet & Chandon dancing in their heads. And I have THIS to say about that.

Pretty smart really. Yeah, good job with that one. Especially when you're trying to fool everyone by fashioning your look after Moby.Now, I knew coming into this, that this would not represent the France that I know. While there is a very chic jet set in Paris, most people there are not. I ran into la racaille more than I did people who worked for Yves Saint Laurent.

But there was really nothing french about it. The DJ was french, and his music definitely dipped more into the eclectic, but the crowd there just seemed likely a slightly better dressed version of the kind of people who would go to this place, sans prétexte d'une soirée française. And no one was really all that nice. I don't know if it was the supposed exclusivity or "frenchness," but it kind of made everyone act a bit pretentious.

Now, I'm actually in these pictures somewhere (ooooh), but here is my attempt at some Blue States Lose.

I'm not exactly sure what's going on here, but I think the guy on the left just gave the guy on the right the fastest hand job ever recorded.

"My mother must approve all my dates. She told me to get you this glass of ginger ale. Wait, where are you going?"

I think it might have been my fight or flight response kicking in after seeing these guys walking towards me, but the first thing I noticed in this picture was the "Exit" sign.

"So then he said, 'just think of this dress as being the exclusive sneak-peak preview of your boobs.'"

In french, to be surprised is to be "étonné(é)." As in she was étonnéé to discover that this whole time this guy had been talking about a "préservatif," he was not referring to jelly.