Scariest Candidate Contest

So far, the winner is clear. Mitt Romney. Here are the reasons in no particular order.

1. He's a Mormon.
As an agnostic/atheist/existentialist myself, I have a hard enough time with religion mixing in with politics at all. But I realize that a lot, if not most, Americans like their president to believe in God. Ok, fair enough. I find the Shrub's brand of fire and brimstone faith to be overbearing. But Mormonism is a whole different ball game. Now, don't get me wrong. I've had a few Mormon friends here and there, and they are really (really really) nice people. But I have to draw the line somewhere. Mormon's believe that they become demi-gods of alien planets if they are good in this life. I'm not sure where exactly my line is, but I do know that this is across that line.

2. His favorite book is "Battlefield Earth"
This is disturbing for two reasons, actually. First, it was written by L. Ron Hubbard, the founder of Scientology. While Romney has said he doesn't condone Scientology, which is, of course, perhaps the MOST wacky religion on the fringes of the mainstream, a Mormon saying that a book written by the founder of Scientology is his favorite equals DOUBLE CRAZY.
This is also disturbing because it is a horrible novel. Plain and simple. But maybe it was better than the movie. Why not the Book of Mormon? At least that sounds like interesting and well-written fiction.
And at least Romney reads something other than the Bible.

3. His feelings on Guantanamo
When asked about terrorism, he said that we ought to "Double Guantanamo" where the detainees aren't on "our soil" and don't have "access to lawyers." I don't even know how to argue with this statement.

I would be willing to overlook or change my mind about the first two (ok maybe just the Mormon thing, I mean Battlefield Earth? How about...I don't know...anything else?). I do not understand how someone trained in our system of law can actually believe that the accused should be denied counsel and held without charge.

Not that I'm going to vote for a Republican anyway, but I'm just saying....

Bush Not Much for Bread, Circuses

Here's an article from the Houston Chronicle

May 21, 2007, 2:04PM
Bush defends Gonzales, dismisses plan for no-confidence vote
By BEN FELLER Associated Press Writer
© 2007 The Associated Press CRAWFORD, Texas — President Bush insisted on Monday that embattled Attorney General Alberto Gonzales still has his support and denounced Democratic plans for a no-confidence vote as "pure political theater.

Political theatre you say? Hmmm, seems to me you've become quite the thespian yourself!

From the famous Mission Accomplished Photo Shoot....


...to having the parents of a fallen American Soldier do a cameo at the state of the union address back in 2005.
Or this little gem


Cuz that's a genuine and substantive way to deal with Malaria, right?

Vaguely Female Friday

I am intrigued by Verka Serduchka. Here's another gem from that crazy Ukranian. This one has dancing monkeys.



She reminds me of a (more) Eastern European Hedwig (below). What do you guys think?

Screw the Cigarette, You Had Better Take That Meatsicle Out of Your Mouth

Oh no! Oral sex can give you throat cancer? I am going to be fucked and not fucked in so many ways it boggles the mind.

Article at SFgate.

I hope this is on itunes soon

I don't follow American Idol. I don't know if that means I want the terrorists to win, or if I'm just afraid of commitment. Just can't care.

But Europe has an interesting version of this same idea, called the Eurovision Song Contest. It's like American Idol, except each country gets to send one group. The only problem is that when people don't like the results in Eurovision, international relations in Europe are chilled for a good couple of days.

And they are all generally really bad. I mean, like painful to watch. Now, before I get any hate comments from my European readers (ha ha, right), this isn't about Europe. It's about these horrible contests. They just don't produce anything musically interesting.

But this year, it did produce something incredibly entertaining to me. Behold the second-place finisher, Ukraine and its Verka SERDUCHKA - Dancing Lasha Tumbai.

Warning: Memorizing in a tranny car wreck kind of way.



So Verka, if it's any consolation, you were totally robbed. I don't understand how this could NOT win. Especially when compared with some of the other "music." Like the Turkish Justin Timberlake:



or this group from France:



Oh god, what was that? But it's so much better than this snooze fest that won, though I do find the naughty professional eastern european lipstick lesbian look to be very interesting.

Jerry Falwell dead at 73

The fact that this asshole out-lived my father is actually further proof to me that there is no God. But if there is, I hope Foulwell is put in the same level of hades as all other intolerant bigots who claim they have the mandate of the Almighty.

We'll Always Have Paris

I was trying to avoid this, but I just can't anymore. In a news item that refuses to die, Paris Hilton is not not only appealing her 45-day sentence, but is also asking the Governator for a pardon. In the petition for her pardon (which I REFUSE to link to), it says

Paris Whitney Hilton is an American celebrity and socialite. She is an heiress to a share of the Hilton Hotel fortune, as well as to the real estate fortune of her father Richard Hilton. She provides hope for young people all over the U.S. and the world. She provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives.

Wow. I can't believe that someone actually sees herself as being so incredibly entitled.

I'm going to let you all in on a little secret today. I have some personal experience with a DUI. If anything Paris has already gotten preferential treatment. If Joe Shmoe were caught while driving with a suspended license because of a previous DUI, it would be considered a violation of his probation and he would either go (back) to jail (if he couldn't afford the fine the first time) or would get his sentence enhanced (more work program/more fine), and the car, even if it didn't belong to him, would get impounded at his expense.

When Paris got caught driving on a suspended license for the first time, she had to sign a statement saying that she knew her license was suspended. That's it. And LA is not known for being lenient on drunk drivers because of the driving culture of the city, and the fact that you spend so much time on the highway, it's usually the CHP that get you, and they are NOTORIOUSLY hard-ass.

So, when she gets caught a SECOND time, I don't think imposing a 45-day sentence is ludicrous. The whole reason she can be so carefree is because she doesn't have a job to lose or a family to feed, so be it. I just don't understand why she would keep insisting on driving places! I mean, with her money I'm sure she has a driver who will just take her around!

So Paris, if you read this, I'm not trying to mean. Like I said, I've been on the wrong side of one of these before, and it is a terrifying experience. But I have paid my dues on time, and done everything the system told me to do. I thought my sentence was a bit harsh too, considering the circumstances. But HOW DARE YOU think that somehow because people are fascinated with your princess life-style that you are entitled to preferential treatment. Do us all a favor. Read a book while your in there and play cards with lesbians. You might learn something.

On another note though, I do feel sorry for you because of this thing. That's just not fair. And this IS kinda because you're famous for being famous.

You Got Serve...OH DEAR JESUS!!!!

Man Dies Dancing in Parking Lot

AP

NEW BRITAIN, Conn. (May 9) -- A man died while trying to outdo a rival with an acrobatic move while "battle dancing," police said.

Robert Stitt, 48, and his rival were competing in a parking lot Monday night when he tried a forward flip and landed on his head.

linky

1. As sad as this is, I hope I go in a dance-off battle.

2. But I'll put some cardboard down

3. People battle in a place called "New Britain Connecticut"?

4. 48 year-olds battle anywhere?

Sarko a l’Elysée

Well, he took it, with 85% voter turnout (could you imagine that here? Last presidential election here it was 57%. Wow). And so far, not so bad:

Ils se sont soldés par 730 voitures incendiées, 78 policiers et gendarmes blessés et 592 arrestations, selon un bilan de la Direction générale de la police nationale (DGPN).

It could've been worse. Well, this other article makes it sound worse:

Police fired teargas grenades into a group of several hundred masked demonstrators who threw rocks and other missiles at them, at the Place Bastille in Paris, where about 5,000 anti-Sarkozy protesters had gathered. There were also reports that police clashed with 2,500 protesters in Toulouse; 2,000 demonstrators in Lyon; and several hundred protesters in the towns of Rennes, Nates and Brest.

What actually happened?

Restez a l'écoute

On May 6 the French will pick their new president. It has become a classic left-right battle. I am somewhat torn between "Sarko" v. "Ségo" myself. I think France does need some structural reform, but I don't think the French will put up with much from Sarko because he is already seen as being too "anglo." I mean look what happened to Dominique de Villepin with the contrat première embauche. In case you missed it last year, this is what happened.

With Ségolène, one risks the status quo, but I think she might be able to push some mild market-based reforms through with her general support from the left. I also don't think that France needs to become Anglo to succeed. Is the unemployment rate to high? Yes, but I don't think they need to completely dismantle their state-run programs. Their hospitals and schools are first-rate. I kind of want France to stay, at least mostly, France. But it's not up to me, now is it.

On another note, the neuf-trois is getting ready, because if Sarko is elected, the banlieus of Paris might start to burn again. Soyez sages et prudents mes amis!!

Photo from The Economist.

Because no one puts baby in the corner

That's why. My last picture was actually a hint at my real name. But this one is just so fantastic, I decided to change it. Did you like me in Roadhouse?

Duke Lacrosse MBAs Fail DNA Ethics Test

Wow Duke has had a rough year. Ok, not as bad as Virginia Tech, but still pretty bad. And now this. Apparently 34 First Year Students at Duke's Fuqua (pronounced "fuck-wa?" while shrugging your shoulders)School of Business are being disciplined after having been caught cheating on a first-year exam. This article isn't clear, but it kind of seems like they cheated on an ethics exam, which raises four questions in my mind.

1. YOU CHEATED ON AN "ETHICS" EXAM?!?!?

2. They have ethics exams in business school?

3. Seriously?

4. How do you cheat an on open-book exam?

Full article here

LCD Soundsystem

I saw LCD Soundsystem (more here) at the Fillmore back in 2005 when I had no idea who they were and my roommate at the time had an extra ticket. I was blown away by their disco-electronica with the ironic lyrics.

So when I found out they were coming through town again, I actually shelled out $60 a pop to a scalper to see them last night at Mezzanine. And it was worth every penny. I haven't danced that much at a show since...well...prolly the last time they were in town. If you get the chance, I highly recommend seeing them live.

Here is one of my faves off of the new album. It's somewhat reminiscent of Blue Monday, if you ask me. (no actual video, just the song). I had this on repeat when I first got the album, but after hearing it live, it's back up on the itunes a few times a day.


And here is one of the songs off of their first album that got me truly hooked.


Sorry I don't have any pics from the show. They usually don't allow cameras, but it seemed like everyone last night had one. Except me. My friend got a few on her phone though, so if they're worth it, I'll post them later.

I'm a Bad Kinda Boss

Today was Administrative Assistants Day, and I didn't do anything for anyone. Here was my ego-centric and incredibly insensitive justification dilemma.

We are an incredibly understaffed office. I don't have a secretary. All of (around 8 attorneys) share 1 1/2 secretaries. The 1/2 secretary is not "special" or anything, she is just a part-timer with an inconsistent schedule. The full secretary is an old big bear of a gay man who is so close to retirement, read immune from firing, that he doesn't really give a shit anymore and doesn't try very hard. You have to double-check his work so much that it is usually easier/quicker for me to just do the shit on my own. The 1/2, as contrast, is very detail oriented and competent and I would actually trust her more than me.

Then we have this one woman who kind of keeps all of the files together. And sometimes she will make you copies if you ask her nicely.

Then we have three paralegals. Oh and the receptionist.

So who is the "administrative assistant?" The receptionist? The 1 1/2 secretaries? Everyone? I feel like I should get somebody something and the apologize for "forgetting to give it" to them. I don't want to just hand out Pete's gift cards. But does that mean I have to get personalized gifts for seven people?

Not to totally pass the buck, but I did think it was kind of shitty that none of the partners did anything given the fact that we all use the same secretary. I mean no flowers, no candy, no new ergonomic chair? Nothing? This would have been cool.

Sunday in the Park

My roommate, a friend of mine from law school, decided to move in with her boyfriend so I had to decide whether to move somewhere else myself, or stay here and find a roommate. Neither option sounded very appealing. But, one thing I like about our current location is how close it is to Golden Gate Park. Every Sunday (well..almost every Sunday) I run from our apartment, through the park, to the ocean, run along the beach a bit, and then head back. Doing my daily commute every day, I often forget how pretty this city can be, and how we are in fact, right along the ocean. Every time I do this run I am reminded what a great city this is. Most of the time. As you look at the pictures below, try and find the homeless man. It'll be like "Where's Waldo." Anyway, I thought I would take you along.

After about 1/4 mile I come upon the new De Young Museum. Locals fall into two camps. Those who believe the museum is an incredibly progressive piece of architecture and those who believe it looks like a thinly-disguised aircraft carrier and that it's an eyesore in a beautiful park. The outside of the museum is made of copper, so as it ages, it will actually start turning green and blend in a bit more with the background.


The botanical garden is across the street. After dodging bus loads of tourists, I manage to find some lesser known paths and distance myself from the museum.
There are just tons of little surprises along the way to keep it interesting. Every time I go, I see something new. This mangled tree is just an odd sight.


You can actually feel the micro climates change around you. You go from the open and developed areas of the museum and the environs, to sort of arid parts with large meadows, to areas that could be out of the Lord of the Rings.
And finally, at the end of the park, you hit the Pacific.

These guys make me nervous. They ride in these things that look like big wheels, and use giant kites to pull them along the beach. But sometimes the kites come crashing down. I just hope I'm never under one when it happens.

Sandpipers having brunch
That's a lot of birds.
My attempt at an artsy shot


Crazy windmill at the end of the park, right on the ocean. You can see Sutro Tower in the background. It must be a clear day.
Nice pretty small kite that doesn't worry me.

Ok, back into the park.

Calla Lilies abound.
Not sure which one, but some cute little man-made lake in the park. At Stowe lake you can rent paddle boats and get ice cream. Someone must have planted these in the tree trunk, right? Could that happen naturally?
This is what originally gave me the idea to take my camera along one of these days. I think it looks like a wave from one of those old Japanese paintings. But it's completely natural, made of undergrowth. But doesn't it look like a wave just waiting to crash on an unsuspecting park-goer?

Finally getting back to civilization. Not far from the De Young Museum, is the Japanese Tea Garden.
Round-trip this is about 7 miles. Boy do I need a shower .

I am totally sending this to US News and World Report

I wonder if they have a “terrorist threat level” as a part of the ranking criteria

From SFGate

UC Berkeley law student made threat against Hastings, officials say

Marisa Lagos, Chronicle Staff Writer

Friday, April 20, 2007

(04-20) 07:56 PDT SAN FRANCISCO -- The person whose threats of violence shuttered Hastings College of the Law on Wednesday was a student at UC Berkeley's Boalt Hall School of Law, according to officials at both schools.

Investigators determined the threat to be a hoax, Boalt Hall Dean Christopher Edley said in a letter sent Thursday to Hastings Dean Nell Newton.

The FBI and San Francisco Police Department determined that the suspect "does not pose a risk to others," Edley wrote, and continue to "investigate whether criminal charges are appropriate."

Regardless of the criminal investigation, Edley said, the school will consider disciplinary proceedings against the student.

The letter was forwarded to Hastings students, faculty and staff, accompanied by a note from Newton assuring the campus that the incident is believed to be over.

Hastings, located in downtown San Francisco, was evacuated and shut down Wednesday afternoon after a "copycat" threat of violence was posted on an Internet discussion board, school officials said.

The threat was posted on a law school admissions discussion board, www.autoadmit.com, according an e-mail sent to the Web site's users by founder Jarret Cohen.

The message was headed, "Just decided not to do a murder-suicide copycat at Hastings Law" and was authored by a user called "Trustafarian," who went on to write, "I went to bed all set for 'Bloody Wednesday,' but when I woke -- to sun, to flowers in bloom -- I just couldn't bring myself to suit up. Maybe tomorrow; I hear rain's in the forecast."

The threat was reminiscent of Monday's massacre at Virginia Tech in Blacksburg, Va., which left 33 people dead, including the shooter, a student.

Hastings officials closed the law school Wednesday after being made aware of the threat and increased security in the wake of the incident, according to Newton. The heightened security will remain in effect through the end of the school year, she wrote in the e-mail to students.

In Edley's e-mail to Newton, he expressed his "deep regret and sympathy," to the Hastings community for "the anxiety and upset," created by the posting.

"Coming on the heels of the tragedy at Virginia Tech, the posting was in my judgment at the very best an astounding instance of immaturity, terrible judgment, and reckless disregard for the welfare of others," he wrote. "Quickly on the heels of (the criminal investigation) and regardless of its outcome, we at Boalt will consider what disciplinary proceedings might be appropriate. Of course, we are also consulting with mental health professionals."

In his note, written "on behalf of AutoAdmit," Cohen said that he had put the FBI in contact with the person allegedly responsible for making the threat. He asked for ideas from users for how to deal with similar situations in the future.

"Please understand that I run this place the way I do because I belive you deserve the chance to express yourselves openly and freely. But please, don't be stupid," he wrote.

E-mail Marisa Lagos at mlagos@sfchronicle.com.

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/04/20/BAGEHPCJCP6.DTL

Update: SCOTUS Upholds Partial Birth Abortion Ban

After reading this opinion a little closer, I still don't understand how they can think this squares with Casey. From a practical standpoint, I don't think this has as much of an effect on women as it does on doctors.

The law was challenged on "void for vagueness" grounds. The respondents agreed that it covered intact D&E abortions, but that it's additional reach was unclear. The Court disagreed, finding in part:

Second, the Act’s definition of partial-birth abortion requires the fetus to be delivered “until, in the case of a head-first presentation, the entire fetal head is outside the body of the mother, or, in the case of breech presentation, any part of the fetal trunk past the navel is outside the body of the mother.” §1531(b)(1)(A) (2000 ed., Supp. IV). The Attorney General concedes, and we agree, that if an abortion procedure does not involve the delivery of a living fetus to one of these “anatomical ‘landmarks’ ”—where, depending on the presentation, either the fetal head or the fetal trunk past the navel is outside the body of the mother—the prohibitions of the Act do not apply. Brief for Petitioner in No. 05–380, p. 46.

I don't think this is remarkably clear. The Act only applies if any part of the fetal trunk past the navel is outside of the body of the mother. This raises a few problems. It seems that whether or not this Act will apply has little to do with either the doctor's or the mother's intentions. I'm not a doctor, but I'm going to guess that how quickly or how far the fetus is delivered is not able to be discerned with any degree of certainty beforehand nor reliably controlled. So whether or not this Act applies is going to depend on a lot of unknowns and pure chance. While there is an intent element to this Act, I'm sure that if and when doctor's are prosecuted for this, the DA is going to try and infer intent when there was in fact an intact D&A performed, and charge for the full crime anyway. For the SCOTUS to say the Act is not applicable without intent does NOT mean that a DA can't charge it and try to prove it.

Second, the Court does not require a health exception because the evidence is inconclusive as to whether or not an intact D&E is ever medically necessary for the life of the mother. As a practical matter, I don't understand why the Court would conclude that the prohibition of a procedure that at least might be medically necessary is constitutional where the evidence is equivocal. If we're dealing a supposed "constitutional right' such that its regulation is subject to heightened scrutiny, I would think that the government would need to establish by some degree of certainty (narrowly tailored? rational basis even) that this procedure was never medically necessary. At least more than "inconclusive."

And file this quote under "paternalistic"

Respect for human life finds an ultimate expression in
the bond of love the mother has for her child. The Act
recognizes this reality as well.

Really? I thought this was a criminal staute

SCOTUS Upholds Ban on Partial Birth Abortion 5-4

Oh Sandy, we miss you. I'm in shock over this (article). Why do our federal lawmakers spend so much time on this? From my understanding this procedure is fairly rare and only used in extreme cases as it is. While grotesque, I don't think obstetricians use this procedure because they get some sort of sense of satisfaction out of it. You know, adults are being slaughtered in Iraq right now, assholes. Why are you so intent on telling doctors how to do their jobs?

This sends the message that stare decisis means nothing and that if you tweak the law a bit and shuffle the Court, any constitutional right is really up for grabs. I can't find the actual opinion yet, but I intend on reading it.

Never mind: Here it is.

Lost in Defecation

Toilet maker recalls hot seat TheStar.com - Business - Toilet maker recalls hot seat

April 17, 2007

TOKYO–Japan's leading toilet maker, Toto Ltd., says it is offering free repairs for 180,000 bidet-toilets after wiring problems caused several to catch fire.

Full article from Toronto Star here.

Wow, I guess I'll have to add another blessing to my list. I may not have a "pulsating massage spray" on my can, but at least my ass isn't on fire.

The "A" Must Stand for Ambivalence

In most areas, the current administration has pushed the envelope when it comes to the power of the executive. They have claimed that the president has the authority to arrest and detain American citizens he deems as "enemy combatants" indefinitely. They have argued that it could authorize the torture of detainees , and then seems it did just that in secret prisons abroad. They denied detainees in Guantanamo the right to habeas corpus and stripped them of the protections provided by the (congressionally ratified) Geneva Conventions. They argued that despite FISA, the NSA had the right to decide who and when to wire tap without the oversight provided by the FISA court. The Bush administration and the executive branch he heads have been nothing if not consistent. He is, at the end of the day, the decider.

So how about the Environmental Protection Agency? The government organization created to protect and preserve the environment? Perhaps it would pursue its mission statement as zealously as its executive branch cousins.

No such luck.

When a group of states and private organizations petitioned the EPA to regulate greenhouse gases, the EPA responded (contrary to the opinion of the two previous General Counsels) that it was not authorized under the Clean Air Act to regulate greenhouse gases, and that even if it were, any such regulation would not be a prudent course of action. This led to a court challenge, and finally the SCOTUS opinion issued earlier this month in Massachusetts v. EPA, in which the Court held that the EPA does have the statutory authority to regulate greenhouse gases and that if it declines to do so, it must provide a suitable reason grounded in the language of the Clean Air Act itself.

You don't even have to be a lawyer to be outraged at this. The "Environmental Protection Agency" was arguing that it did not have the power to regulate polluting gases being released into the air under a statute called the "Clean Air Act?" Fer fuck's sake. If you can't do this, what the hell ARE you authorized to do?